First off, WELCOME if you're a newcomer, or anoldcomer, recently returned; I appreciate everyone in this echo -- you're why I bother for as little as they pay me! YOU are worth it! (sure, that counts as my objoke inclusion for this post, if I want it to be it ;) )

Say hi, share your favourite joke, rated PG-14, where you're from,. & why that place is funny; maybe a funny childhood story from your own childhood or someone you were close to,growing up? Jump in, have fun; reply to any post you read in here, should you feel the urge -- nothing you see is private. Do include funny content n every post, though, please (we call that an Obligatory Joke(ObJoke for short), when you add in an extra bit of funny to make up for off-topic chat content)

Okay, enough intro, on to the main point(s) of this posting. . .

Rules, Regulations, & Guidelines for Fidonet's FUNNY Jokes and Stories echo

This file and the rules as per the Fido official echo description constitute our rules & regulations, binding on every user in this echo, by their participation (whether passive(reading) or active(posting); if this displeases you, you know the way you came in -- you may & should exit the same way & never return.

Echo purpose: to hear something repeated you've just said.

Note all are labeled #1 as they're all important --

#1: You must (re)read these every time you see them posted by myself or another moderator, addressed to "All"

#1: even if a rule, below, seems phrased humorously (even your mods try to stay on topic) it is a hard & fast rule, requiring your adherence

#1: Have fun or GTFO

#1: don't be a jackass; you're a guest in other people's home.

#1: every post must contain funny content (text)

#1: English(UK+CAN) is the natural language of the fully evolved human being, thus English is the echo's official language. American English is American & true English<TM> users may feel free to humorously(key) poke fun at Americanisms

#1: grammar & punctuation is probably important -- mis-use opens yourself up to funny or punny ridicule.

#1: leave the moderating to the moderator(s); you may not see it being done, but we work behind the scenes often. If you have a complaint, echomail or email your mods; do NOT post into the echo (unless you're following rule#1 of course,
& being funny)

#1: This echo is rated PG-16; i.e. content should not be overly shocking to the average 16 year old (boy or girl); no porn -- that's elsewhere in cyberspace

#1: NO ads for products, services, echos, pages, or ANYTHING, except as you've sent to the mod, with agreed upon payment, & the mod posts it for you, following all rules.

#1: NO auto-posting (bots); this echo is for humans; if you can fully understand these rules, you are likely human.

#1: the mods are not responsible for any damage to your connection devices (including modems & computer & monitor) perpetrated by a moderator's use of the Freister Device (detects your personal(not BBS, not your fido upline) source system & sends proprietary signals to cause your disks, CPU, mainboard, & modem to die ("fry" from Freister, the inventor, & my friend)

#1: You have been warned

#1 Swearing should be kept to a minimum -- & only as befits the joke/thread -- we're adults here & should act & talk like it. If you're mixing them in randomly like salt & pepper, you're too young to be in here.

#1: These rules should appear once a month, but regardless if you've seen or read them, you MUST follow all, or delist the echo &/or visit others (&/or make your own, even!)

#1: We only roast the ones we love

#1: The End (or is it?)

APPENDIX i:
Remember: Even if some jokes in here seem a bit "difficult" for you to enjoy, that humour is not universal; this echo is for everyone.

The most important thing is:

#1 Have fun
#1 Include a joke in every post/reply
#1 Keep it all PG-16

EVRRY post must contain funny. . . hmmm. . .December. . .
A 25-year-old guy's best mate of the same age was dating a woman who was 76, so he addressed his friend, "Dude! I get that May-December romances happen; of course, December will see lush young spring in May. . . but what does May get from December?"

"Christmas!" his buddy answered with a swagger & grin.

Hmm, Christmas, yup it's coming. . .

Hopefully these will keep you going until the big day:

1. You╞re just in the (Saint) Nick of time. 2. Snow thank you.
3. I love you all the way from the top of your head to your mistletoes. 4. Just like BeyoncΘ∙I sleigh, I sleigh. 5. Step right up, jingle file.
6. Time to spruce things up a bit.
7. You need to branch out.
8. Icy what you did there.
9. Are you going to post your gingerbread house on Instagraham? 10. You know how to make a fa-la-la-la-lasting impression. 11. Wreath it and weep.
12. Having something under the tree is such a gift.

Or maybe Hanukah is more your style? Here's 2 for each day of Hanukah: Which hand is best to light the menorah with? Neither, it╞s best to light it with a candle.
How can you recognize a Hanukkah hippie? He╞s the one with his hair in dreidel- locks.
How much Hanukkah gelt did the skunk get? One cent. What╞s the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything? A burglar alarm.
What do you call a speck that falls into the latke pan? An unidentified frying object.
Why don╞t we eat clowns at Hanukkah? Because they taste funny. What╞s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon? One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights. What╞s the best thing to put into the sufganiyot? Your teeth. What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot?
⌠Whoa, a talking menorah.÷
What did the older Hanukkah candle say to the younger one? ⌠You╞re too young to smoke.÷
Why was the broom late to the Hanukkah party? It over-swept. Miriam goes to the post office to buy stamps for her holiday cards. She asks the cashier, ⌠May I please have 50 Hanukkah stamps?÷ The cashier asks, ⌠What denomination?÷ To which Miriam replies, ⌠Oh vey, has it come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.÷ Why are there only 8 days of Hanukkah? Because 7 ate 9. How many potatoes does it take to make potato pancakes? A latke. Why do you put candles on top of the menorah? It╞s too hard to put them on the bottom.
What did the loaf of bread say to the other loaf of bread during Hanukkah? ⌠Happy challah days!÷

Or maybe Kwanzaa?
This celebration is absolutely ⌠lit÷∙seven candles worth! Let╞s get Kwanzaa-fied and festive. Feeling ⌠umoja÷ than ever this season. Unity? More like you-knit-y!
This holiday is root-ed in greatness.
⌠Kujichagulia÷ rolls right off the pun-tongue.
Let╞s self-determinately have a good laugh. My Kwanzaa spirit is burning brighter than my kinara. The only thing better than family is family with puns! The soul food isn╞t the only thing that╞s cheesy tonight.

Sum it all up with a cheery greeting: Mare Egrets Moose, Panda Hippo Gnu Deer! or
Hapry Chriskwanzukkah! (26 days of celebrating JOY!!!!) So chug that rum-laced eggnog (I prefer dark rum in home-made super thick nog) Eat that rum-soaked Christmas ham & rum-soaked fruit cake Guzzle rghat bottle of cheap champagne (r cheap out & get a bottle of Baby Duck)

Rum, Wine, liqueur, Beer(traditional is a heavy dark ale(i.e. a Stout) called "Winter Pudding" in the UK & parts of North America, Scotch Whiskey, Vodka, Tequila, Ciders, Coolers, booze-filled chocolates, Bourbon, or whatever else you have or think of -- drink up & be thankful you're alive this day! CELEBRATE according to your traditions (old & new); make children's faces light up and shine with pure happiness & joy.

A nice 500ml (pint) mug of hot chocolate with a shot of Kahlua or Bailey's in it is a difinetreast safter playing in the snow, for those of the age of majority in their location and whose spiritual commitment allows drinking unto God, family, neighbours, friends, & fellow countrymen A separate toast for each!

Or, if you prefer, & it's legal where you are(i.e. all of Canada & 2-3/50 states in the USA), spark a fatty & toke your toast to each and all the above!
& LAUGHING!! Keep checking in here for new jokes, puns, & stories -- not seeing what you like? Post examples & requests!



--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)