(Just when you think you've seen it all...)

From: https://shorturl.at/yQX5Y (nypost.com)

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Hospital evacuated after 8-inch WWI artillery shell discovered in patient's butt

By
Ben Cost
Published Feb. 2, 2026, 11:52 a.m. ET

He had some explosive indigestion.

A hospital in France was evacuated after a male patient arrived with a
WWI artillery shell lodged in his backside.

According to the bum-shell report, the unnamed 24-year-old had been
rushed to the Rangueil Accident and Emergency unit in Toulouse late
Saturday night, the Daily Mail reported.

The poor fellow was "in a state of extreme discomfort, having inserted
a large object up his rectum," an insider source said.

Fearing a potential fire in the hole -- and hospital -- medical
personnel alerted the bomb squad and fire brigade and evacuated the
facility.

Meanwhile, a security perimeter was formed around the medical center as
the authorities investigated the explosive situation.

Fortunately, the retro munition, which was also pointed and over an
inch wide, was not deemed a threat.

The bomb disposal experts took the shell with them while the patient, a
French national, remained at the hospital so he could recover from
surgery.

It was unclear how the antique ordnance ended up in the man's
posterior, but experts suspected the combustible could have been the
result of a party stunt gone awry.

However, France's La Depeche newspaper wrote that medical staff in
Toulouse are "accustomed to treating victims injured during sexual
games."

The shellshocked patient is expected to be interviewed by authorities
later this week, while prosecutors are considering taking legal action
against him for handling "category A munitions," per an officer.

Shells such as the one found in the man's bum were used during the
First World War by the Imperial German Army, which deployed hundreds of
thousands against the British and French armies across the Western
Front between 1914 and 1918.

The explosives, which are date-stamped, regularly turn up during the
"Iron Harvest" - the annual collection of often unexploded munitions
from both world wars, which are found on farmland, building sites and
other disrupted land.

And while a person's backside might seem like a strange location for
one of them to surface, shockingly, this wasn't a first at a French
hospital.

In 2022, the Hospital Sainte Musse in Toulon was partially evacuated
after an 88-year-old arrived with a World War I artillery shell
similarly lodged in his anus.
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-- Sean

... "A man's errors are his portals of discovery." - James Joyce
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